Was That The Baby Or Indigestion?

Well, the title of this post efficiently sums up the stage of pregnancy I'm in right now. Nothing too visibly new or exciting is happening for the time being, but that's totally okay with me; I'm enjoying the feeling of rejoining the human race for at least the next few months.

Every now and then I feel the smallest of flutters in my tummy-- like someone implanted a cell phone there and it's set to vibrate. I have to say, thinking that even this fractional movement could be our little baby kind of excites me. And then I realistically admit to myself that I'm probably getting excited over gas. The joys of motherhood, right?

I think one of the things Matt and I have been enjoying most over the past few months is the free advice we've been getting regarding parenthood. You all are a highly insightful crowd-- too insightful not to share, in fact, so I'm consequently naming this next sections as follows: The Best Advice We've So Far Received on How to Not Permanently Damage Our Child.

1. Don't let him/her become a Mets fan. (That's actually Matt's advice, but I thought it was worth putting down.)
2. When you're too angry with your child to come up with a realistic punishment, don't exaggerate. Instead, you may find the following line useful: "If you do that one more time, you don't even want to know what's going to happen." (I've been practicing my delivery on our cat, Henry.)
3. Don't drop him/her. I like it-- a return to fundamentals.
4. Get sleep now. In light of this piece of advice, we're thinking of trading in Henry for a cat that functions properly. (I'm mostly just kidding... although I am awake right now because he was biting my toes.)
5. Save money on maternity clothes by not buttoning your pants for the next few months. This was probably one of the more innovative budget-esque bits of advice so far, however, I am confident that I would never be able to pull that off in a graceful and dignified manner. (Two qualities I'm sure I'll have given up on in another few months.)

In other news, Matt is doing such a good job with his new teaching position! I couldn't be more proud of him. :)

God is good!

Hello from a dad to be

God is sure faithful! I just wanted to state that first above everything else as His love is amazing and He is faithful to provide! My sweetie has been updating y'all on the events of the Dunham household with an eloquence I could never duplicate, but I figured I would check in and give my perspective on a busy time.

I am going to be a father! This simple fact is amazing to me. For as long as I can remember, I have loved interacting with children. I can honestly say that I always looked forward to being a father just as much as I did a husband. Every time Val and I pass a cute little kid, my desire for parenthood increases that much more! I can't wait to see my baby's beautiful face come July :)

I want to personally thank everyone for their prayers last weekend. Time seemed to stand still as we waited for Monday morning to come, but the Lord gave us patience and peace which can only come through Jesus! Val's mom flew in from Massachusetts which was a huge blessing. She cooked us wonderful meals, bought us some essentials, and encouraged us along the way. Thanks Mom McGinnis for being there for us! God is so good and answered our prayers. We can now look forward to the exciting times ahead as parents.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! We had a blast spending time with my family and especially enjoyed time with my 3 month old nephew Lucas! Val and I have had the blessing of following both my sisters in marriage and parenthood. This allows us a sneak preview and we are certainly taking notes! Family is such a blessing and God has made that abundantly clear to us lately.

I just found out a few days ago that I will be a permanent sub for a math teacher at Salem High School starting next week. I was all set to do my student teaching when I received a call from my supervisor regarding the math opening. This is yet another answer to prayer! I will now be paid to complete my student teaching requirement. This semester was going to be very tight for us financially and this is a big help. Plus, Val has an interview on Monday! I ask you all for your prayers as I begin this assignment. I am excited for the opportunity to learn from the other teachers at SHS. Pray that I will be able to manage my classroom effectively and that I will lean on the Lord's strength throughout the rest of the school year. Thank you!! This could really be a neat opportunity to eventually land a full time job in a great school district!

I want to leave you with a verse which Val and I are taking on as a sort of daily life verse this year. At Salem Baptist Church, the verse for 2012 is Colossians 3:16 which reads "Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." This verse is an awesome exhortation to the body of Christ on how to live in harmony together under God. This verse leads to 3:17 which is what we have written on our whiteboard at home: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  It is my desire each day to do everything to the glory of God. Amen!

Big Lessons

Well, Matt and I are thankful to say that life has calmed down significantly since last Thursday. What a crazy weekend it was, and what a blessing it was to be able to report good news.

In one week I went from fearing for the life of my child to praising God for his protection and provision; this week we not only found out that our baby was healthy, but we were also blessed with the news that Matt and I will most definitely both be pulling in full time incomes until July.

I have to admit that until last Thursday, I was stumbling in my walk with Christ in some ways. Some of you may know that I quit my job in October to pursue a lead in writing. A lot of prayer went into this decision, but it was obviously made before we knew I was pregnant. A month later, in the span of two weeks, Matt and I found out that we were expecting our baby in July, and that Matt was scheduled to complete his student teaching this spring.

At the onset of this news, I was not really that shaken. Matt is the most compassionate man I know, and the best teacher I've ever met. Student teaching was nothing but a good thing, even if it meant a cut in income. I felt sure I'd find a job (how could I not with my oh so useful degree in English), and everything would work out fine.

I have been handing my resume out like free candy for the past two months, and, this just in, apparently our country really is going through a recession. As more and more time passed, the more and more I began to panic. By the time last Thursday came around, I was feeling pretty pessimistic.

And then I found myself alone in a doctor's office hearing words I never anticipated hearing. I had a lot of anxieties coming into this pregnancy, but none of them had to do with my baby's prenatal health.

I came home, the news of what I'd heard still sinking in, and sat in the dark for literally an hour before Matt got back from work. I don't really remember a lot of what was going through my mind, but I distinctly remember telling Matt that I didn't care about anything else-- I just wanted our baby to be okay.

In my time of trial this past weekend, I realized that the faith I had regarding our financial situation was not a faith in God; it was a faith that good things would happen. And when good things did not start happening, I was shaken.

A belief in God is not dependent on good things happening. I say all the time that "God will take care of it." I don't believe that any less now than I did before, but my understanding of that statement has been re-shaped.

Our baby looks like (s)he's going to be just fine, but what if we'd been given different news on Monday? I can't honestly say how I would have reacted to that. I'm sure that I would have experienced deep fear and sadness, but I also think that my love for the Lord and my sometimes feeble faith in Him would have continued to grow.

You see, I've learned that Christ like faith is not the same thing as hoping for good news. If that were the case, then about fifty percent of the time, every man has the right to ask "where is God now?" Rather, Christ like faith is hoping for God's will.

I think the above statement is one that is used too thoughtlessly sometimes. I don't mean to say, in other words, that if something bad happens then it's okay, because after all it must have been God's will.

Let me make myself very clear: God hates death. The very foundation of Christianity rests on the fact that God hates death. It was never His plan for mankind. I do not believe that God has ever once looked on a dying man and said "rejoice, this is my plan." Perhaps he says "rejoice, there is life AFTER death," but never the former.

So, Val, if God hates death, and He is, in fact, God, why does death happen? Why do children starve? Why do mothers and fathers die of cancer? My simple answer: Sin. (Oh no, a stereotypical and sometimes misused Christian term!) I regard sin not as a list of singular, immoral actions, but as a unit-- as anything that God does not like.

God hates death; Death is God's enemy. It was introduced by Satan to mankind at the beginning of time, and since then, God and Death have been at war.

So if I'd heard that my baby was, in all likelihood, not going to see the light of day, would that have been God's will? No, I firmly believe it would not have been. But I do believe, however, that if I'd heard bad news, I could still bring glory to God-- I could still find peace, joy, and hope in Christ. And that is God's will.

From here on out, I will make a concerted effort to hope for God's will in all circumstances. I think that as a human I will continue to hope for good things, but I know now better than ever that good things is not the exclusive home of joy.

God Is Good!

Greetings!

First of all, I want to thank you all so much for your support and prayer during this scary time at the Dunham house. We can't tell you how much it encouraged us to know that our baby was being prayed for. Prayer is a powerful thing, and it was the best thing we could have asked for. Thank you!

I want to update you all with GREAT news! Our little one is still looking great and is going to (Lord willing) be just fine. I cannot tell you how relieved we are. It literally feels like a weight has been lifted off of our shoulders.

The unidentified mass is not, as it turns out, due to a partial molar pregnancy! The doctor, after what seemed like a long wait, called us into his office to explain what was going on. He believes that what they're seeing is called a fibroid. A fibroid, essentially, is a collection of extra tissue in the uterus. It's something that's probably always been there, though very small, and grows during pregnancy. While this is not a normal thing, it's not exceedingly rare, and more often than not, not at all dangerous.

My HCG levels were normal, and with more advanced equipment they were able to confirm that the mass was not on the placenta-- great news! Right now the fibroid is fairly small, but he said it could keep growing. If it grows large enough, it could max out the blood flow to the fibroid-- meaning the fibroid would dissolve to mush-- something that's not dangerous but potentially painful for me. (I'll take that any day of the week over what we thought it was!)

For the time being, I'll still have to see the specialist every month in addition to my regular doctor, but the doctor seems to think the fibroid will probably not be an issue throughout the duration of the pregnancy. There are some small potential side effects for baby, but nothing too serious.

Again, we can't say thank you enough for the prayer and support you've given to our family. It has meant so much to us, and we pray you are all well too. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, I think it's nap time here for the Dunham's!

The Righteous Man Has No Fear of Bad News

Hello All,

I'm not sure how to begin this blog but to tell you that it's going to have some scary news in it, and I'm begging you all to be on your knees in prayer for our baby.

The first time I went to the doctor, when I was about nine weeks into the pregnancy, we got to see our baby. She had a huge head and tiny body, but her heart was beating and she was perfect. We could just start to see her arms and legs forming, and watching her move was something I, the English major, literally cannot explain. But they saw something else on the ultrasound which caught their eye: An unidentified mass of sorts, they said. It was nothing to worry about. The doctor thought it was probably a blood clot, something that would either pass or be absorbed by my body. But just to be safe, she wanted to do another ultrasound at my second appointment, which was yesterday.

Yesterday, again, I got to see my perfect little baby. This time I could see her spinal cord and her little legs all bunched up. She was moving and her heart beat was strong-- I even got to hear it. The technician told me she was growing at a great rate-- measuring a day or two bigger than what she was.

But the unidentified mass was still there, something the tech didn't say much about. She printed me a fairly indistinct picture of Little Baby and told me to wait to speak to the doctor. The first words out of the doctor's mouth were: "I'm going to have to scare you." And she did.

In thirty years of practicing medicine, the doctor said she'd never seen anything like this. She assured me that my baby looks healthy and happy-- at the moment, there is not a thing wrong with her. All of my lab work is coming back great too. But this mass, which is on or near the placenta, has her worried.

She told me it could be several things, but what she's afraid of is called a partial molar pregnancy. The term went way over my head, but I googled it. (Don't google things when you get bad news at the doctor. Terrible idea.) A molar pregnancy is when something goes wrong at fertilization-- it's very rare. Essentially, something that acts like a baby turns out to not be a functioning baby. Molar pregnancies are detected during an ultrasound when no fetus can be found.

My baby is healthy. So it's not a molar pregnancy. A partial molar pregnancy is even more rare than a molar pregnancy. 1 in 1000 babies turn out to be molar pregnancies, and even less of those partial molar pregnancies. A PMP is when there is a healthy baby alongside an unhealthy placenta (from what I understand). Usually, the baby's genetic code is flawed and she stops developing, resulting in a miscarriage.

The doctor told me the "treatment" for a PMP is termination. I would rather take the risk that the pregnancy would naturally terminate than to not give my baby a chance at all, so for me this "treatment" isn't really an option.

Now, the good news is that she's not even sure it is a PMP. I literally don't have any other symptoms. The baby does not look undersized or unhealthy.

Some other things this unidentified mass could be are as follows: There could be a twin that is developing abnormally or not at all anymore. Multiples run in both mine and Matt's families, so that seems like a possibility. It could be a cyst, which she said would probably stay there through the course of the pregnancy and not affect it.

The bottom line was she's never seen it before and isn't really sure what it is. I'm having blood tests done to test my hcg levels. If they're too high, it's not a good sign. She's referring me to a specialist, who I'm supposed to hear from today or Monday, and he'll set up an appointment for me. I just really hope we're not left waiting long.

Our little baby is already so loved by a lot of people-- especially me and Matt-- and we just want her (or him as Matt reminds me) to be okay. Our baby needs big time prayer right now, which is mainly why we're posting this information on our blog. Thank you guys for all of the support you've given us, and we'll keep you updated.

Things I Deem Noteworthy from 2011.

Greetings, you cyber wanderer. I'm not sure how you happened to stumble upon this blog (if not by my shameless plugs on facebook), but I'm glad you're here. Enjoy some highlights from 2011, in no particular order.

1. I graduated from Liberty University. The biggest pay off for this, in my eyes, was not my degree, but the ability to shamelessly walk into a rated R movie... which I still got carded for, because I look like I'm seventeen. So it goes.

2. I apparently like The Office. It makes me, irrationally so, want to work for a paper company.

3. I got married and now nobody knows how to pronounce my last name. It is only by the grace of Jeff Dunham's rising popularity as a comedian that anybody occasionally gets it right.

4. Kimmy K (that's slang for Kim Kardashian, who kind of annoys the heck out of me) got married.

5. In July I will become responsible for another human life.

6. Kim Kardashian got divorced.

7. The Boston Bruins finally won something.

8. The Boston Red Sox completed the world's most embarrassing collapse in sports' history by losing to the Orioles, who celebrated an under .500 record like they'd won the World Series.

9. The world's least notable earthquake occurred in the same weekend as a hurricane. Y2K? Oh wait...

10. Political campaigns have started in full force, which means it's socially acceptable to make Ralph Nadar jokes again.

For those of you who have endured this post in the hopes that I'd say something at least mildly important, Matt and I have our next baby appointment on Thursday! We are really excited about this and can't wait to update everyone. The more time that passes the more we love our little baby already, and we genuinely can't wait for her to get here! (It's too early to determine gender, but her sounds better than 'it.')

Happy New Year everyone, and here's to the new adventures of 2012!