Have you ever had a friend with whom you've almost developed your own vocabulary? And then you occasionally use terms from aforementioned private vocabulary in front of other people and they think you're crazy?
Me too. Except I'm married to that friend, and it dawned on me the other night, when we had a house full of people over for the Super Bowl, how incredibly ridiculous we must sound sometimes. This has always been a quirk in our relationship, but it has gotten like... fifty times more ridiculous since having a baby. I'm not sure why. Here are some of the following terms you may here in the Dunham household on a regular basis-- and these are just the ones that refer to Declan.
Bink That Baby: (verb) Refers to a time during which Declan is screaming, usually at the top of his lungs, and either Matt or I need to go put his binky back in his mouth. We'd hoped this term would eventually expire as Declan learned to Bink His Own Person, but now he's developed the habit of throwing his binky across the room.
Unbinkable: (adj... actually, technically it's a nominal, but whatever) Unbinkable is a state of being during which the baby in question (Declan) refuses to be soothed by his binky. Typically a baby is unbinkable because he is holding out for a bottle, or for Mommy cuddles. This manipulation tactic is ineffective on Daddy, but gets Mommy every time.
He's Been Raptured: Being Raptured refers to a time during which Declan has moved out of the camera's view in his crib. Very frequently we'll look at the video monitor and only see his binky. It looks like a cheesy scene from the Left Behind Series.
Tuttin' It Up: I'm not sure how this happened, but over a series of much evolution, Declan's nick name has become "Tutter." (i.e Tutter Butt, Tutter Butter). Kids do weird things to you-- that's my only defense. But I digress. "Tuttin' It Up" refers to the transition time between being put down for the first time and Bink That Baby time. Tuttin It Up is a happy time of much cooing, squealing, scratching the walls, chewing the crib bars, and just generally reveling in not napping. Never try to Bink That Baby while he's Tuttin' It Up; this is ineffective at best, and it will make a baby Unbinkable at worst.
Real Live Declan Toots: This pretty much just refers to Declan toots-- also known as a "false alarm." I'm not sure why we felt the need to modify this; it's not like he ever has tape delayed toots, but we always refer to it in this manner anyway.
Those are all the major key terms. Be prepared to hear them if you ever come over. I'm thinking of publishing pocket editions of this to hand out as door prizes upon entrance to our home.
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