The Righteous Man Has No Fear of Bad News

Hello All,

I'm not sure how to begin this blog but to tell you that it's going to have some scary news in it, and I'm begging you all to be on your knees in prayer for our baby.

The first time I went to the doctor, when I was about nine weeks into the pregnancy, we got to see our baby. She had a huge head and tiny body, but her heart was beating and she was perfect. We could just start to see her arms and legs forming, and watching her move was something I, the English major, literally cannot explain. But they saw something else on the ultrasound which caught their eye: An unidentified mass of sorts, they said. It was nothing to worry about. The doctor thought it was probably a blood clot, something that would either pass or be absorbed by my body. But just to be safe, she wanted to do another ultrasound at my second appointment, which was yesterday.

Yesterday, again, I got to see my perfect little baby. This time I could see her spinal cord and her little legs all bunched up. She was moving and her heart beat was strong-- I even got to hear it. The technician told me she was growing at a great rate-- measuring a day or two bigger than what she was.

But the unidentified mass was still there, something the tech didn't say much about. She printed me a fairly indistinct picture of Little Baby and told me to wait to speak to the doctor. The first words out of the doctor's mouth were: "I'm going to have to scare you." And she did.

In thirty years of practicing medicine, the doctor said she'd never seen anything like this. She assured me that my baby looks healthy and happy-- at the moment, there is not a thing wrong with her. All of my lab work is coming back great too. But this mass, which is on or near the placenta, has her worried.

She told me it could be several things, but what she's afraid of is called a partial molar pregnancy. The term went way over my head, but I googled it. (Don't google things when you get bad news at the doctor. Terrible idea.) A molar pregnancy is when something goes wrong at fertilization-- it's very rare. Essentially, something that acts like a baby turns out to not be a functioning baby. Molar pregnancies are detected during an ultrasound when no fetus can be found.

My baby is healthy. So it's not a molar pregnancy. A partial molar pregnancy is even more rare than a molar pregnancy. 1 in 1000 babies turn out to be molar pregnancies, and even less of those partial molar pregnancies. A PMP is when there is a healthy baby alongside an unhealthy placenta (from what I understand). Usually, the baby's genetic code is flawed and she stops developing, resulting in a miscarriage.

The doctor told me the "treatment" for a PMP is termination. I would rather take the risk that the pregnancy would naturally terminate than to not give my baby a chance at all, so for me this "treatment" isn't really an option.

Now, the good news is that she's not even sure it is a PMP. I literally don't have any other symptoms. The baby does not look undersized or unhealthy.

Some other things this unidentified mass could be are as follows: There could be a twin that is developing abnormally or not at all anymore. Multiples run in both mine and Matt's families, so that seems like a possibility. It could be a cyst, which she said would probably stay there through the course of the pregnancy and not affect it.

The bottom line was she's never seen it before and isn't really sure what it is. I'm having blood tests done to test my hcg levels. If they're too high, it's not a good sign. She's referring me to a specialist, who I'm supposed to hear from today or Monday, and he'll set up an appointment for me. I just really hope we're not left waiting long.

Our little baby is already so loved by a lot of people-- especially me and Matt-- and we just want her (or him as Matt reminds me) to be okay. Our baby needs big time prayer right now, which is mainly why we're posting this information on our blog. Thank you guys for all of the support you've given us, and we'll keep you updated.