Life is busy but God is good!

Greetings from daddy! I wanted to give you an update on the craziness that is our life at the moment and how God is taking us through it one day at a time. With Val and I both working full time and Declan changing by the day, we are in need of God's strength more than ever! God is so faithful to answer prayer and He is really guiding us and helping us adjust to all of this transition.

I knew coming into this school year that my job would be a big challenge. I was really anxious about getting into the classroom and the first six weeks were really tough. Thankfully God has brought me through the hardest part of the job and things are starting to settle in. Many of you know I am not the most organized individual! The planning part of teaching is really hard for me and something I need to keep improving. I am really enjoying my students. They are a handful but are a lot of fun to work with. I think things will continue to get better as the year goes on. I will be praying all year to see if this is where I need to be long term. I am just thankful I can now come home at night and for the most part, leave work at work and let home be home. Praise God!

My son is getting so big! He is starting to smile and interact with those around him. What a blessing parenthood has been. Declan looks the same age as his cousin Hailey who is 4 months older than him! I love just watching Declan take in his surroundings, with his eyes wide and mouth open. It is hard to believe he will be three months old on Monday. Val has been such a trooper, taking most of the night feedings so I can get some sleep before school. We are hoping Declan will start sleeping through the night on a consistent basis soon. Please pray that he does!

Val is enjoying her job and really likes the people she works with. That being said, it is really tiring for her to run around with three year olds all day and then take care of Declan as well. Add two graduate classes and she is a busy woman! Pray for Val to have strength each day and for God to use her to impact the kids she works with. Pray that I will have the strength to help her as much as possible to lighten her load.

My mom and dad are in this weekend for Lucas' birthday so we are enjoying some quality family time. Hopefully in a few years they will move down here and we will see each other more often. I will leave you with a bunch of pictures (Grandma Dunham I know you have been waiting a while!). Enjoy and God bless!

Why People Think I'm More Ethnic Than I Am

While I was pregnant, my good friend Justin, who is notorious for saying moderately ridiculous things (that's very understated), told me that he was going to refer to Declan (Dek-lin) as Day-klahn. We all laughed. Hard.

Here's the thing: People actually call Declan (Dek-lin) Day-klahn. Like... a lot of people. Two days ago I got a phone call from the billing department at my obgyn's office. The phone conversation went something like this:

Billing Department: Valerie, please.

Valerie Please: This is Valerie

Billing: (in a comically surprised tone) Oh, haha. Okay. (I've since come to recognize this as the point in the conversation when the person realizes I'm white.) Valerie, I'm calling about Day-klahn's circumcision.

Quick aside: Not the best way to start a conversation with a new mother... or any mother, really. She'd yet to identify herself as with the billing department, and so my first thought is "oh, crap, they messed it up."

Valerie Please: Okay...

Billing: What's Day-klahn's date of birth?

Valerie Please: July 1st... what did you say this was regarding again?

Billing: (very slowly, as if this is a stupid question) Day-klahn's circum-cision

Valerie Please: Yes ma'am, I got that, but unless they're going to do it again I need you to be a little more specific.

Billing: I'm calling about the circumcision they did.

Valerie Please: Okay...?

Billing: Well, we need to bill you for that.

Valerie Please: Oh, great. That's all I needed to know. And by the way, it's Dek-lin.

Billing: (As if this changes everything) Oooooh!

This experience is not a far cry from most other "I'm trying to pronounce this kid's name right" experiences. For example, I can always tell which nurse I'm talking to at the pediatricians office based on how they say his name. One woman calls him "Dee-klin" and another sticks with the classic "Day-Klahn."

I had to go in to get his belly button checked out earlier this week (it seriously looks like he has an elephant trunk, but apparently this is normal), and I wish I'd had a camera when the nurse popped into the waiting room and called for "Day-klahn"

Nurse: Day-klahn?

Me: That's us

Nurse: (nonchalantly peering into the car seat, presumably to investigate Day-klahn's race) It's not pronounced Day-klahn, is it?

Me: Nope, it's Dek-lin. But Day-klahn is starting to grow on me, so call him whatever you like. (She started calling him Dek-lin after that.)

I knew I was setting Declan up for a lot of "can you spell that?" moments throughout his life, but I never anticipated the great Day-klahn Debacle of 2012. I kind of think of it as an added bonus.

I will be completely unsurprised, however, if he decides to start going by DJ by the time he hits third grade.

On Becoming Baby Dumb

I have finally found a spare fifteen minutes during which Declan is allowing me to utilize both of my hands for something other than patting his back, fetching his binky, or rubbing his stomach. This free time was hiding behind sleep props. Many, many sleep props.

A sleep prop, as defined in the popular Baby Wise books, is a way to get your infant to sleep unnaturally: Rocking, bouncing, white noise-- essentially, anything other than putting your baby in a crib and saying "see you in a few hours, son." It's artificial sleep, if you will.

A few weeks ago, I was all about this baby wise system. It made sense. I didn't want Declan to rely on rocking or singing to get to sleep. He needed to learn to do it the good old fashioned way and he needed to learn immediately.

I look back on that phase of my life with fondness now. I look back and think "aw, that's cute."

Cute? Yes. Realistic? Maybe for some fictitious baby gift wrapped and delivered exactly on his due date by the stork. But not for Declan. Not even close. Currently Declan is swaddled and sleeping in a vibrating bouncer cradle with a white noise making machine positioned a foot from his ear. He is sucking away happily at his binky and he hasn't cried in quite some time.

That's right, folks, we're using enough sleep props now to start our own off Broadway production. And I'm happy with it. If that's not Baby Wise (I've read the books-- it's not) then call me Baby Dumb. I'll gladly wear that title. I'll also gladly clean my house, read a book, and sleep at night.

Maybe the Baby Wise system is the smartest way to do things. Maybe I'll be kicking myself in about a month. I lost enough sleep to not really care that much, though. In fact, there is Biblical evidence that even sweet, eight pound six ounce baby Jesus needed a sleep prop or two. First account of swaddling clothes? The Bible. And correct me if I'm wrong, but was Jesus laying in a manger or a crib? The song isn't called "Away In A Flat Surfaced, Firm Mattressed Crib."

Moral of the story? Now that we've given in to all the wrong ways to put Declan to sleep, he's actually sleeping and so are we. And the Dunham family lived happily ever after.

You Can't Take A Bottle If You're Sucking Your Thumb

My son loves his hands. Loves them. I've never seen anyone as fascinated with his hands as he is. Put something even remotely close to the vicinity of his tiny little arms and it will soon be the property of Declan James. I'm counting down the days until it's cool enough to put him to sleep in his night shirts, fully equipped with long sleeves and mittens; it's a successful morning if he wakes up without some new scratch on his cheeks.

The trouble is, Declan also loves his bottles. And believe me, he lets me know if it's been too long since he's had a play date with his friend The Bottle. If I don't catch his hunger cues quickly enough, soon he's in a full blown frenzy. (You'd think we'd never fed this boy, the way he screams sometimes. I'm going to need two jobs to survive his adolescence.) So there I am, throwing two scoops of enfamil goodness into four ounces of water at warp speed, holding on for dear life to the last strands of my sanity while Declan screams like someone is yanking his finger nails out.

And when it's finally mixed and ready, I can't even get it into his mouth, because what's there instead? His thumb. He sucks that thing like it's going to give him manna if he works hard enough. All the while, he's glaring up at me like I've personally betrayed him-- like I'm the one keeping the bottle from him.

If you'd just move your hand, I could give you what you really want, son.

I wonder how often God thinks this about us. How often do we cling to the things we think we want-- the things we're sure will satisfy us-- only to be left in a hungry frenzy? And how often do we cast accusations at the heavens, wondering how the God who loves us could leave us in want?

Maybe we're left in want because we turn away what we need. Maybe we come up empty time and time again because we're too distracted with our thumbs to be able to take a bottle.

Flashing The Birdman and Good Poops

On July 1, 2012 we were blessed to welcome 6 lbs and 5 oz of Declan James goodness into the world. Unless you have been hiding under a rock in some remote, third world country, you've seen at least one or two of the millions of pictures Matt has posted. (Even Lydia, who has been in third world countries noticed.) What you haven't seen is the other son Matt and I brought home. World, meet the Birdman.

About twelve hours after bringing Declan home we noticed him-- the alter ego-- the Birdman. He strikes every three hours or so and doesn't leave until he gets a bottle. The Birdman is relentless; he sucks anything in neck's reach until he hones in on his enfamil filled query. Binkies (or pacies, depending on what part of the country you're from apparently), fingers, arms, even Matt's nose. (That last one was actually pretty funny to watch.)

I blame the Birdman for very little peace in the Dunham household the past two weeks, but I also credit him with the near two pounds Declan gained in two weeks' time. Well done, Birdman.

Life has been pretty crazy since bringing Declan home, but we wouldn't trade a moment of it. Everything has changed. The way we sleep (or don't sleep), the way we eat, the times we relax (and don't)-- they're all different. Even the things we talk about are drastically different.

For example, before Declan I, for some reason (and I'm embarrassed to admit this), hated to say the word "poop." I hated it. I blushed every time I had to say it. I would use code words like "number two" and "the p word."

This morning, upon hearing that Declan had a normal bowel movement, I exclaimed to Matt "Good poops! Good poops!" That's the best way to describe how my life has changed.

The reason I was so excited for "good poops!" was because Declan's tummy had not been taking well to Similac formula. The poor guy was in a good amount of pain after nearly every feeding. We tried switching to a sensitive stomach version, different burping positions, and even diluting his bottles with a bit of water. In the end it was a little karo syrup and enfamil that did the trick. Maybe only Declan was more excited than I was.

So that's what's mostly been going on with the Dunham family. Declan flashes me the birdman to indicate he's hungry. Mom and Dad respond accordingly. Sleep. Process. Repeat. Praise the Lord!

One Week!

It is hard to believe a week has gone by so quick! Declan is doing great and we are so blessed to have him in our lives. Though we are getting less sleep, we are receiving so much more in return from this gift from God!

Captain Adorable!

Babies are so cute when they sleep

Trying to stay cool from the heat

First week of an exciting adventure ahead

Is that a smile I see?

On his one week birthaversary as Val calls it, we took Declan out for his first fun family adventure*! We headed over to Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Matt's house and enjoyed time with family. This was the first time the three cousins were together and I am sure the first of many to come! What a blessing to have family right down the street.

Rebecca with Hailey

Two Generations!

Lucas is getting so big!

The Cooper Family

The Dunham Family

I would be remiss if I didn't mention what a blessing it has been to have my mother-in-law Kathy and sister-in-law Brittany in town! They have been such a help around the house. Before we ever went home from the hospital they went back to the house to organize for us. We have had amazing meals each day and the sink has been clear of dishes. My father-in-law Shawn will be here by tomorrow and then my parents get in next weekend. What a blessing! Thanks Kathy and Brittany for all your hard work!

*"Fun Family Adventure" trademark of Mark Appleton

Things I've Learned About Being A Mom

There is no such thing as easing into motherhood. There just isn't. You can babysit and take courses and read books for all nine months, and some of it will be helpful, but it isn't motherhood. For the twelve hours before Declan was born, I was completely freaking out. Partially because I was about to push a bowling ball esque bundle of joy out of myself, and partially because I had suddenly been robbed of the last two weeks before my due date. And, though I didn't know it until last Saturday, I had been dearly counting on those last two weeks.

But after a whole week of motherhood under my belt, I can honestly say that time wouldn't have made a difference. Alright, it may have given me opportunity to clean my house a little more, but I wouldn't have been any more prepared for this crazy journey then than I was last week. Motherhood, more than anything else, is learning a lot as you go, learning to let go, enjoying the little things, and, whenever possible, seizing the opportunity to shower.

Here are a list of things I've learned about being a mom so far.

1. Swaddling is harder than it looks. I suddenly have tons of respect for the folks down at Taco Bell. Even with the "swaddling made easy" velcro version, I'm pretty terrible. So thing learned number one is this: Let your husband swaddle the baby whenever possible.

2. My dishes probably won't all be done at once again after my mom leaves.

3. Learn to ingest caffeine in some form. I personally hate coffee. I wish I'd trained myself better.

4. Sleep when he lets you sleep.

5. You know how on movies they have that cute moment when baby boys let loose mid diaper change, and it usually catches an unexpecting parent in the face? That can actually happen. Multiple times in one diaper change even. No one is safe.

6. I was a shower glutton before Declan. Five minutes under lukewarm running water is a treasure these days.

7. Babies do not understand, nor do they care, how cute an outfit is. Bodily functions will still happen. If you plan to show him off in aforementioned cute outfit, wait about ten minutes before "look how cute my baby is" time to change him.

8. Getting a baby to burp is harder than it looks.

9. Regular poop is not even a third as gross as meconium is.

10. You do not get to choose what your *mom voice will be. Mine sounds like a bad Mickey Mouse impersonation. Declan is going to be really confused the first time he sees a Disney movie.

*mom voice: the ridiculous voice a mom uses, for some irrational reason, when addressing her child.